What a bad day

Today is not the day I want to have. Very disappointing. I wish I can just go home and leave my husband here in Taiwan just like that. I need to be with him but the working environment where I am now is tearing me apart, pulling me down in a way I am slowly losing my confidence. It breaks my heart to think that just because the Taiwanese in our office have been hostile and prejudice against the Filipinos, that I have to leave my husband here in Taiwan. Do I have to sacrifice my self-worth for the betterment of it all? I don't know. I wish I have the answer.

I don't fancy the Taiwanese but I didn't hated them but with all the experiences I have gone through, I can confim that I simply despise them. I have been to and lived in different countries and befriended many nationalities but the worst of them all are the Taiwanese. There are good ones, very nice ones but they are outnumbered by the racist, unfriendly ones. Well, they are nice if you are blond and with blue eyes.

I hate Mrs. Tsai!

I always have my cup of tea in the morning, so are everybody else in the office. Every creature in our company has a mug, a cup or tea diffuser on their tables. I only have a mug for tea/coffee and for water. However this morning was different. I was about to sip our personnel manager told me in Chinese (first act of rudeness) that I can’t drink anything in front of a computer (second act of rudeness). I was wondering why she picked on me where everyone is doing what I am doing. The Taiwanese do theirs worst than mine. They have the whole kitchen utensils on their tables. Was she being prejudiced? How am I suppose to drink without facing my computer? Which one is worst – leaving my work for a minute or two just for the pleasure of drinking tea/coffee/water or sit there with my hands working while having a sip? We don’t have a morning or afternoon break just in case I forgot to mention. I don’t know if it is cultural thing (I suppose not) or was she just a simple epitome of a grumpy, prejudice, rude, hostile, pathetic, stupid, moron, disgusting, smelly, racist, deep-rooted uneducated, bad-mannered Taiwanese? I know it is not a good attitude and I hope God will forgive but I hate her! I hate Mrs. Tsai! If I know how to curse, I am cursing her, right here, right now.

The Courageous Iraqis

The recently concluded election in Iraq was a success considering the danger and uncertainties the voters have gone through just to make it to the polling places. It is now a beginning of a much important phase in Iraqis political struggle. A transition which will define the future of the people, the economic recovery of the country, unity among the sects and ultimately showing to the few insurgents that democracy and liberty are far more powerful than the mortars and bullet.

I am so proud of the Iraqis for bravely facing the dangers so they will reclaim their freedom once taken away from them. It was an emotional moment for those who long for freedom in its truest sense. No one and nothing can be more courageous than the Iraqi people last Sunday.

Ahkong

My sister's ward passed away two weeks ago and today the family finally bid goodbye to the old man. Though I am not a friend of Ahkong but I met the frail man a couple of times when we visit my siter. The first time I met him, he was already wheelchair-bound but still have that "sunshine" in his eyes. The second time, he was slowly losing the strength, he hardly smiled. The third time I visited my sister, we no longer had the chance to see him because he was so weak after the operation. Few days after our last visit , he passed away.

My sister was deeply hurt because she has made a bondage with the old man. She said Ahkong left this world unhappy because he didn't feel he receive love enough from his children. When he was still alive, he didn't to be confined inside the house, he wanted to go the park even if it's raining. He wanted to escape. Now he finally done it.

I pray that Ahkong will be happy wherever he may be.

High School Grad Teachers

Literally.
A friend living in Canada told me she was watching a program featuring Canadian high school graduates (year 12) teaching English in Taiwan at kindergarten and primary schools. That news came to me at no surprise. Living and working here in Taiwan, I know for the fact that the parents, or should I say , the clients prefer blonde/brown/red-haired, Caucasian, native English speaker regardless of lack of educational and teaching experience. There is a notion among the Taiwanese that if you are Caucasian and from the five English speaking countries, then you can teach. Schools refuse to lift the “standard” and “quality” of teachers because they have to give in to the whim of the well-off and yet ignorant parents who do not know what teaching a second language is all about. It’s all about making money and showing off in expense of quality education. There are many qualified teachers from Asia, USA or Canada who have excellent university degrees, vast teaching experiences and understand more than anybody else the concept of standard education but also happen to be either brown or black. They don’t fit into the physical qualification imposed by the hypocrites. Unlike China and Thailand who are strict in hiring real graduate teachers, Taiwan fall into the colonial mentality that everything about “white” is beautiful. The Taiwanese worship the white people, they even imitate their looks (dyed their hairs, nose augmentation to elongate their not-so-flat noses, dressed up like Carrie of Sex and the City, etc), the way they talk, and even the lifestyle. It’s a pity for those kids who have kids as teachers. I am not against Caucasians because there are excellent Caucasians teachers out there. It’s a disgust how some white people took advantage of their colour, accent, and passport to get a job which they are not qualified. It’s pathetic on the other hand how parents were so blinded by the racial stereotype to the point of sacrificing the very foundation of their children’s education.

What Kind of Girl She Is?

She's a hybrid of: Progressive Girl Girl Next Door

It's fun! http://www.cookingtohookup.com

Pathways to Peace

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God."- Matthew 5:9

Integrity

"Integrity is one of several paths. It distinguishes itself from the others because it is the right path and the only one upon which you will never get lost."- M.H. McKee

Joy

"If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive."- Eleonora Duse

Kindness

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."- Mark Twain

Faith

"Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light."- Helen Keller

Courage

"This is courage to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends."- Euripedes

Hope

"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark."- George Iles

Charity

"We must not only give what we have; we must also give what we are."- Desire-Joseph Mercier

Love

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."- Mother Teresa

Patience

"Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on, Hold fast, Hold out. Patience is genius."- Comte Georges Louis Leclerc de Buffon

Determination

"The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving."- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Gratitude

"A single grateful thought raised to heaven is the most perfect prayer."- Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

Humility

"Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right."- Ezra Taft Benson

Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is again made clean."- Dag Hammarskjold

Peace

"We must come to see that peace is not merely a distant goal we seek, but it is a means by which we arrive at that goal. We must pursue peaceful ends through peaceful means."- Martin Luther King, Jr.

From http://www.pathways-to-peace.com/

Father's Love Letter

A compelling, truthful and heartful letter composed by one faithful man. It's more than worth reading... it's above all a must to read.

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllpreviewlarge.html

Magnifico the Magnificient

A film with wit, charm, and believability.

Over the weekend, me and my husband watched the Philippine movie Magnifico. Magnifico is a movie about a 9-year old growing and living in an impoverished world. It's a tale of his lives and the lives of the people around him but ultimately the movie showed how an innocent boy touched the lives of the people because of his compassion, love, faith and simply a good innocent heart. I am not a particular fan of Filipino movies because majority of them are very mushy, far-fetch and overly emotional but this one is some kind of different. It is emotional but the performances are so accomplished and subdued. It is not burdened with the ham-handed melodramatics. The film is well-made and the director and the writer pressed the emotional buttons. You won't be dry eyed after watching this movie. The boy who portrayed Magnifico is simply amazing, he conveyed the same depth and emotions as what the caharacter asked him to be. This boy will go far.

The film has gained prestigious recognitions around the world though it doesn't fair well at the Philippines box office. Not only awards but well-deserved reviews from critics around the globe. A movie like this should what the Philippines writers and director aim for. I have enough of the hysterical scenes.

Singleness

I have a bunch of single women friends in their late 30’s and enjoying the life of singleness to its fullest. In a world where the society unintentionally imposed the state of companionship, these women chose to live a fulfilling life even without confirming to the whim of the social order. As magazines, television shows and movies show the importance and significance of having a partner, it is more unlikely that all experience the same conclusion of what a healthy, loving and productive relationship should be. As many as partner-advocate claimed that having a husband or a wife or just partner will make you whole and provide you comfort, direction and security, many single women have achieved the same benefits by living without men to go to bed with every night. Some women pursued for a married life, others for a successful career, fraction go for both –marriage and a career. My friends have chosen a happy life along with a career they enjoy. Many would be raising their eyebrows and say “Come on, no one can live alone. Everyone needs a man one time in the lifetime. Men can fulfill something that your friends, your jobs or your family can not.” Are we talking about intimacy? Of course, that’s the reason why people get married – to be intimate with someone. However, my friends never consider the lack of human intimacy as a hindrance to live a wonderful life. Intimacy with God is something they are cultivating. It is the same nurturing that married couple or friends have done to make the relationship stronger. True enough that there have to be unfulfilled longings but these women was and has learned to surrender those longings to the Lord and trusting Him to lead them to the ways best for their hearts. A life truly surrendered to the will of God is far more fulfilling having someone snoring at the bedside.

Marriage is not a right and singleness is not an accident. Both are gifts from God out of His love and compassion. I would like to quote this from an article written by a single woman “if marriage is a "good gift" for a particular unmarried individual, God will give that gift. If He withholds the gift of marriage, it means that, at least for this time, it would not be a "good thing.".

I am a teacher

At first I realized I can be a good psychologist because I have an instinct of knowing what the people are feeling just by mere observation. However, I did not pursue that path instead I'm into two absolute different ways - teaching and sales. Of the two, I love teaching more. The challenge of teaching a 4-year old to read "d-o-g, dog" is far more compelling than closing a sales contract with an adult who knows how to read "agreement". Right this moment, I am not teaching rather I'm into the scene where I am have to do something to let the people buy our product, which I would say is redundant and superficial. I am good in marketing logic but I am not a good salesperson. There is no craving for me to prove myself that I am good at what I am doing because the result itself is not of my wanting. Being infront of a computer and being in the midst of noisy, grumpy, adorable and goofy kids are two different things. Alright, kids can take away your sanity for awhile but at the end of the day, as you watch these kids running around and enjoying their lives in school... nothing can be more rewarding than that. It is more rewarding than having a tap on a shoulder for a good marketing literature I have done. Nothing compares to the ecstacy the fulfillment a teacher can have at the end of every school days.At heart, I am a teacher. One day, I will be back to the classroom again and have a rewarding career once more.

Marriage's expiration date?

Marriage is an institution, bound by God Himself. God sanctify the union of man and woman - nurture, love, respect and be His ambassador to single people who are contemplating on getting into the system. Til death do us part is the ultimate vow every married couple uttered on that very special day. It's supposed to be that way but as society is becoming more sophisticated and complicated, people are taking marriage just like an ordinary day job. Many marriages last only for a couple of years. I would say the expiration date on the milk carton lasts longer than most marriages today. Many Hollywood stars have marriages that last hours (Britney Spears) , 4 years (Brad and Jennifer) or if lucky 10 years (Tom and Nicole). These people have money, high profile careers, beauty, influences but the only blessed possession is the very thing they can't keep. Many ordinary, common people have ended up on separate ways because men and women nowadays are dealing with lots of options, choices and opportunities that they thought they can't do if they stay inside the marriage. Which I would say is stupid enough even just to think of it. Most married couple these days don't even exert an effort to make things work out. Marriage is like a plant, it needs nurturing, watering and fertilization. If you don't provide that - it will die and the next thing every human being would do is get another one. Get another plant. Get another wife/husband. Go with the same cycle again until they end up alone, lonely and sitting on an empty veranda with the stinky dog and a bottle of beer.

Miracle

According to the dictionary, miracle is an amazing or wonderful occurrence or a marvellous event manifesting a supernatural act of God . For humanity, miracle is being seeked and anticipated but have different connotation of the word itself. When talking about miracle, we are refering to winning a lottery or seeing an apparition. However, miracle for me happens everyday... there is no need for me to see a bright light coming from heaven to proclaim miracle. The very fact that I am posting this blog is a miracle itself. Miracles are manifested everyday. Listening to your friends bias stories without judging is a miracle. Staying faithful in a relationship is a miracle. Youths saying no to drugs and pre-marital sex is a miracle. Mothers and father leaving their loved ones behind to work offshore so to provide for the family is a miracle. Praying for those you don't know is a miracle. Forgiving your enemies is a miracle. Miracles occurs when there is love. It is a natural manifestation of love towards God, yourself, others and the whole humanity. Miracle occurs everyday, to everyone it's just that we don't recognize it or we don't allow ourselves to recognize it. To quote Paulo Coelho, one of Brazil's brilliant novelist, he says you can become blind by seeing each days as a similar one. Each fay is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.We don't need to witness a visible appearance of something not present, rather the manifestation of something can not be seen through love, kindness, forgiveness, and hope is more than enough to proclaim that it is indeed a miracle.

The Color Purple

I read from an online news from home about movies that brought meaning and lessons to life. One of movies is The Color Purple. I was in high school when I first saw the movie, and back then I did not fully understand the depth and extent of the theme. The things I knew were- there was this black lady, forcely got into marital life with a cruel man. Her life and the lives around her are so miserable and it scared me. Just looking at the desperation suffered by these women, gave me goosebumps. Years after my first encounter with the movie, I watched the it again and only then I realized that there is more to it than I ever contemplated. It talks about freedom, prejudice, love, and courage. Strong and compelling, the lead character (played by awesome Whoopi Goldberg) finds the courage to gain her freedom, the love for her sister - despite the long absence, the love never ceased. The prejudice against women and race is subtly covered.One thing I learned from this wonderful piece of art is freedom is a right and nothing and no one has the power to take it away from you.